One Year

One year ago today, I posted what, at the time, was the most personal blog post I’d ever written. I put all my feelings about a boy into words, and sent it out for the world to see, which I had to do because the boy in question was on quite literally the other side of the world.

Its safe to say our relationship didn’t start off in the traditional way. He asked me to be his girlfriend via Whatsapp, and our third date was almost 3 months after the 2nd, and involved me flying out to New Zealand for a week to be with him. With the exception of that week, we spent the first 7 and a half months of our relationship over 11,000 miles apart, and had to battle with a 11-13 hour time difference.

Its felt as though the universe has been against us, but here we are, one year later, and the universe can keep throwing things at us because we’re going to be together for many more years to come. Matthew is so close to the end of his training, and it won’t be long until he’s in a job and we can really start to move forward with our life; a life where we don’t have to worry about the distance between us anymore.

I’m gonna get real with you guys for just a second.

I’d never put much thought into a perfect relationship, but I always knew that I just wanted to be happy, and thought that I would find it. After I ended my previous relationship, and before Matthew came into my life, I genuinely started to lose faith. I couldn’t understand why I could never get it right. Why, despite always striving to be a good person, happiness never seemed to last. Why, when I looked back, no relationship ever seemed quite right. I can’t tell you just how heartbreaking it felt to believe, even for a moment, that maybe I would never find happiness. Now I know why nothing felt right, and that is because I’ve found it now. I’ve found the guy that I can be 100% myself with, without secrets or censorship.

I really hate to sound cheesy or fake, but if any of those feelings sound familiar to you, I urge you not to give up hope. I can’t express how much my life has changed with this boy in it, and I want so many more happy years.

Happy anniversary, Matthew. I love you xxx

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