Would anyone miss me?

I’ve always been a firm believer that numbers aren’t everything when it comes to blogging. I write because I want to write, and only write about what I want to write about, and that’s how it always has been and always will be.

The last year has been incredible for my blog. I’ve seen such massive growth since I started almost 4 years ago, and the start of this year brought even more; more content, more quality, more readers. I was riding high and smashing record after record, growing not just in terms of my blog stats but also in my confidence. Then June happened.

As my life outside of blogging changed, I was struggling to keep up. I felt under pressure to produce new posts, and I felt myself slipping into a less prepared and more haphazard version of myself. I was banging out posts the night before, or even on the day, and reusing photos because I hadn’t had the time to take new ones. If I’m honest, I wasn’t proud. I decided to step away from my blog and take a break, but with that came the inevitable guilt; the feeling of failure.

I pushed myself back into blogging after just a week away from the keyboard. In all fairness, I felt at the time that I’d given myself enough of a break, and threw myself back into 5-6 posts a week, but while I went back in on a high, this last week has seen another low.

Despite feeling more on top of my life and having fresh new content that I was proud of, and was working ahead on my schedule, the numbers just weren’t racking up like they used to. I feel crushed. While I write because it’s what I love to do, I feel like a chef who’s cooked a beautiful meal but everyone’s already full. It feels wasted. It’s not that I don’t feel appreciated, it’s just that I feel that I’m not entertaining anyone anymore, and ultimately that’s what I want my blog to be doing; making people happy, inspiring people, or just giving them something to read on the train home from work.

I don’t know if I could ever bring myself to give up this blog – I’ve worked long and hard to make it what it is, and I am still seeing some small progression, but I can’t help but think: would anyone notice if I wasn’t here?

I hate being a negative ninny, especially on here, but I just needed to vent. If you have any thoughts or have ever felt similar, I’d love to hear from you.

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9 thoughts on “Would anyone miss me?

  1. I’ve been following you for about a month and a half now, and I can say that I absolutely love your content. It’s totally different from most people I follow! I would definitely miss your blog if you disappeared. Nonetheless, I completely understand where you are coming from, because sometimes I feel that way about my blog and my online presence. I think it’s normal to feel a little down about not reaching as many people as you used to, but as long as you make a few people happy, and make a difference in their lives, then you’re succeeding in my eyes. Keep doing what you’re doing because you for sure have one reader that loves reading your content and would miss you dearly xxx

    Melina | http://www.ivefoundwaldo.om

    • Thank you so much Melina, this means so much to me! I really don’t feel like I could stop doing this because it is such a huge part of my life, and it honestly makes me so happy, even though I might have some off days xx

  2. I think the real question is would you miss you? You said at the start of the post you started the blog for you, and wrote for you not followers. Sounds like that might have shifted a bit when your audience grew and what started as pleasurable hobby became more like a job. I don’t thik you should stop writing. I think you need to find a way to relieve the pressure, forget the followers and write for I again. Your passion, humor and content will come back because you are those qualities. Best wishes!

  3. Hi Lottie!

    I feel exactly the same way now. Somehow you always have the feeling someone else is doing more, doing better, somehow gets farer and you start to wonder… Is it me?
    But you have come so far so you can’t stop. Sometimes I also think that stopping would be nice then I try to remind myself why I started my blog in the first place and keep on doing what I wanted to do which is creating content I love.
    So I try to focus on my content but still if it is doing bad I get sad and can’t help it.
    So I am exactly in the same dilemma. Totally feel you.

    xx Nicki
    http://www.morningelegance.de

  4. Hi Lottie. This is really honest and relatable, so thank you for writing it. I’ve only just started following your blog, but I really enjoy your writing and you’re right to be proud of what you’ve created! So please keep going πŸ™‚

  5. Hi Lottie. This is really honest and relatable, so thank you for writing it. I’ve only just started following your blog, but I really enjoy your content, and you’re right to be proud of what you’ve created. So please keep going! x

  6. I absolutely love your blog! I’m always excited when I see a new post from you in my BL feed and I would definitely notice if you hadn’t posted for a while! It can really feel like an uphill struggle sometimes, but I think the important thing to remember is why you’re blogging. Is it for the views? Or is it because you’re passionate about it? If it’s the latter, keep at it! Also, I think that everyone’s views are always worse over June/July/August because the weather is nicer – so everyone is out doing stuff – and the kids are off so maybe people have less time to sit and read posts? Don’t be disheartened – just keep doing you!

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