The vaguest of post titles ever, right? I dunno, I think this will just be a classic ramble of a post, cos you know, I don’t do that enough..
For anyone who doesn’t know me well, I really struggle with change. I usually try and normalise this statement by saying that I just like tradition etc, but the fact of the matter is that changes can actually get me pretty worked up and anxious. Its something that I know drives my family mad, but its more than just me being difficult for trivial reasons, and to be honest I can’t really explain it.
For that very reason, the last month has been particularly strange for me. I started the month by quitting my job of 4 years, but that was fuelled by my excitement for the new job I was applying for; for a rare time I was embracing change. When I didn’t get that job, I was pretty heartbroken, and this was when my fear of change started looming again; I began questioning if I should withdraw my notice and stay at my old job, or throw myself into a period of uncertainty, which is inevitably what I did.
With all this change going on, I’ve surprised myself with how well I’ve been coping, and there’s a little voice inside my head that keeps making suggestions for further ways to introduce a little bit of change into my life, and here are a few things I’ve been considering:
- Getting my ears pierced – I got my ears pierced aged 8, but I spent most of my childhood in a bit of a tomboy phase where jewellery didn’t really appeal to me, so it didn’t take long for my ears to seal back up. I’m really particular about the kind of earrings I like, so I’m not certain I’ll see this one through, but I’m debating it
- Learn a language – I’m not talking basic French for awkward attempts at ordering in a restaurant, but actually taking up a proper course like Rosetta Stone, and an interesting/useful language like Japanese or Spanish
- Go completely cruelty free – this is something I’m pretty determined to do actually. I’ve being doing a lot of research into which of my favourite brands are cruelty free, and I’m super happy that the majority are, but I want to weed out as many products from companies that aren’t cruelty free, and also use more products that contain natural ingredients
- Attempt vlogging – I am terrified of vlogging, in both the sense that I’m scared of it taking over from blogging, and also that I’m terrified of doing it myself, but the more people I see supporting vloggers, the more a little voice in my head makes suggestions.. I dunno if I could ever go to YouTube, but I think Snapchat and Instagram stories might be worth making more effort with to ease myself in
Who knows if I’ll manage any of these things, but for me just embracing the possibility of change feels like a big deal to me.