The Test of Time

I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship lately. This is mainly because I’m leaving the town I grew up in, and am faced daily with the question of ‘aren’t you gonna miss things?’. If I’m being honest, leaving Bournemouth has always been a fairly easy decision for me because other than my family, I haven’t felt like I have that many other ties to this place. I’ve quite honestly felt like I’ve had no friends in Bournemouth for quite some time now.

I was one of the only people in my group of friends who didn’t go to university after sixth form, and I maintain to this day that that was the right decision for me, but it did mean I isolated myself quite early on. Even before we left school, I was getting a bit sick of hearing everyone talk non-stop about what uni they were going to, sorting things out etc, and although they’d probably never admit it, I know that my friends judged the decision that I made in choosing not to go.

So I left them drift away. I kept in touch with a few, and there would be the occasional gathering when people were back at Christmas or in the summer, but again I tended to steer clear for fear of that inferiority feeling I would get around them. Just over two years ago was the last time I went to a party with these friends, and to be honest, it was great, and I was starting to feel a little more confident about being around people again, but then a personal situation messed everything up, and I pulled myself away again because there were two people in the group that I couldn’t face seeing again. I’m still in a group chat with all these people, but I stay silent, and I can’t bring myself to show up to any of these gatherings.

But that’s just back story, and not what this post is really about.

Yesterday I ran into an old friend in the supermarket. He was one of my best friends during my last few years of school, but he went off to uni and although we’d occasionally chat on Facebook, it’s been about 2-3 years since I saw him last, and even those times would have been fairly brief.

So when I saw him in the supermarket my head went two ways. The first was ‘oh my gosh I need to go and talk to him’, and the other was ‘he probably really doesn’t care about seeing me’. Luckily, the first won out. We stood and caught up right in the middle of an aisle in Sainsbury’s, and d’you know what? It was so good to talk to him again.

We talked like old friends, which is exactly what we are, but it wasn’t one of those conversations you have with someone you used to know, where you just blurt out whatever’s happening in your own life and don’t really pay attention to what they’re saying back, it was a proper conversation. Old jokes from years ago were being thrown about, nothing was fake or forced and I walked away at the end of it with the biggest smile on my face.

I guess through all the recent years where I haven’t felt like I had that many friends, I forgot about the friends that are still there even when you can’t see them. The true friends that no matter how many miles are between you or how many months or years go by will still always consider you to be a friend, and treat you like a friend, and sometimes it just takes an unexpected moment to remind you of those things.

July 4, 2018Lottie 2 Comments

Quality over Quantity

I’ll always befriend a cat

I was in primary school when I first realised that I didn’t have to be friends with everyone to be happy. Year 6, to be precise. Despite going to a tiny little school with small classes, it was already subject to a bit of cliqueyness, and I decided that rather than making myself miserable by clinging onto a group of girls who I had convinced myself didn’t really like me, I could sit by myself, or with people in lower years who I got on with better, and while that didn’t make me particularly ‘cool’, it did make me happy.

Even before then, I knew what it was like to have distant friends. My closest friends while I was in primary school were either in the year above me, so left for secondary school, or had moved to other schools a few years previously, and I got to see them on weekends or at mutual after school activities, so not seeing my best friends every day was quite a normal thing for me.

As I went into secondary school, as is fairly normal with an all girls school, I learned more about how fast-moving friendship groups could be. I started off in the ‘popular’ group in year 7, but quickly learned that I wasn’t actually happy there and moved on, and that pattern continued through my school life – when I wasn’t happy anymore, I found myself drifting away and I moved on. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t skipping from friend to friend by the day or week or even year, I was just quick to pick up when things weren’t working anymore, and I was ok with not having hundreds of best friends at the same time. I picked up some great friends over this time though, many of whom I would still consider as friends today. You see, the good ones stick.

I’ve just never felt the need for fake friends. You know, the ones you see at parties every now and then who pretend to be super interested in your life, when you know they don’t really care about you, or the ones who are only there when they need something from you, but god forbid you should ever go to them with a problem. I’d rather have 10 really good, real friends, than 100 people who couldn’t tell you anything about what’s going on in my life. It might make it seem like I’m a real loner when I say that I have no friends in my hometown anymore, but its the truth and I really don’t mind. I have wonderful friends scattered across the country, and even some across the world. I might not see them every day, or even every year, but they’re there and they’re there for me through whatever.

They matter to me.

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April 3, 2018Lottie 1 Comment

Reasons to Go On Holiday with your Best Friends

Today I am jetting off on yet another adventure with Sarah from Belles Moments, and needless to say I couldn’t be more excited. Its our second holiday together this year, and I already know that its going to be amazing.

I never did the whole ‘girls holiday to *insert party holiday destination here*’ when I was 18/19, mainly due to it not being my scene, but also because at the time I didn’t really have that many friends that I would want to be stuck in a cramped hotel room with for a week or two, let alone spend all day every day with.

In recent years, however, I’ve met some of the best people in my life, and learnt what real, true friendship actually feels like, and now I love any excuse to get away with my friends, and I’ve got one more girls holiday booked for later in the year, and here are a bunch of reasons why you should do it too:

They pack just as much as you

I’m a serial over-packer. I have to make sure I have outfits for every day, plus a few spare bits and pieces, then there’s all the accessories, shoes, makeup etc to go with, and its so much better knowing they’ll have packed just as much.

They double as Instagram photographers

Those not-so-candid ‘candid’ photos that you hope will hit 100+ likes in the first day don’t take themselves you know..

You’ve probably accidentally coordinated outfits

On our first day in WDW back in February, about 20 people asked us where we bought our ‘matching’ skirts. We hadn’t bought matching skirts..

They understand your quirks

They know what photos you’re gonna have to take because it matches your Instagram theme, they know the struggle you went through choosing what makeup to pack, or which camera to take photos on that day, and they might make a joke or two but they get you.

You already have a selfie set-up

Forget taking 6 photos before you find one you don’t like, you guys already know each others best sides and are well experienced in the matter.

You don’t have to have fun all the time

Well, you will, but you also know how much sleep each of you need to be able to function, and sometimes how you’ll need those earlier nights or a lie in or two.

You’re just as weak as each other

There’s no judgement when you’ve blown all your spending money in the first shop you visit, or when you’ve eaten nothing but popcorn all day.

You’ll just have the best time

I mean, they’re your best friends for a reason!

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May 9, 2017Lottie Leave a comment

A Promise to my Disney Friends

How many times do I say it? I love my Disney friends.

The internet has brought me close to so many amazing people that I would have never been lucky enough to meet otherwise, and today’s post is really just about sharing how much you guys mean to me.

As a Disney friend, I forever promise..

To always be a patient photographer for when you need me to take all those well thought out castle shots and character poses
To never make fun of the embarrassing thing you said when you were fangirling in the presence of your Disney prince crush
To sit for however long it takes to get a perfect parade viewing spot
I will always appreciate the amount of time spent not only choosing your park oufits, but also coordinating all the accessories and finding the perfect pair of Mickey ears to match
I will only call you out on the weirdest of your Disney character crushes (Robin Hood, really?)
To always scream as loud as you during parades
I will always be up for watching Disney movies, and I will always sing along if you need me to
To never make a big deal when something Disney makes you cry, probably because I’ll be crying too
To never judge the food eaten in Disney parks, whether you’ve eaten your entire body weight every meal, or lived off churros the whole time
I will be prepared to wake up at whatever time necessary to get to the parks
Whenever possible, if you need someone to run away to Disney with, I will be there.